I still remember how it felt hearing Sexy Money for the first time Part I

Hello Beautiful Healer,

I realize that you may not consider yourself a healer. But you are.

More on that in a bit.

First, I’d like to share a story I don’t often get to talk about:

a pivotal moment in my own path as healer and how this led to Sexy Money.

For years, I wanted to move to New York.

So badly I could feel it in my bones.

I was making "ok" money and had a comfortable life

(ok honestly 35K is comfortable for Savannah, GA),

but you know me – I wanted MORE.

I wish I could say I saved enough to come to the big city

with big dreams of starting my own business.

But honestly, my desire got the best of me.

I quit my job like a woman possessed

and bought my ticket to The Big Apple.

I hit the ground running. Nothing could stop me.

And then…

One week after I’d quit my job,

the 2008 financial crisis hit the country with the force of a tidal wave.

I crashed too.

For someone working in personal finance,

my own money picture looked more like a scribble

than the masterpiece I had envisioned.

But, you know me: I was determined to succeed.

Thing is - I had already read everything about personal finance

and manifesting abundance that I could get my hands on.

It just wasn’t working.

At the same time, I was feeling called

to deepen my study and practice of sacred sexuality.

Sensuality had always felt like an essential part of me

and how I moved through the world.

It just felt… RIGHT.

There was just one problem.

Working in finance,

I knew that sacred spirituality

was most definitely something I needed to keep to myself.

Accounting professionals need to appear RESPECTABLE

in order to be trustworthy.

Blue and gray suits were the norm

and I desperately wanted to be taken seriously.

In fact, I thought I was doing a pretty good job

rocking the persona of a powerful financial consultant

Until I heard a client utter these words:

“I can’t believe someone so sexy works with money.”

Boom.

Everything I thought I’d been doing right turned out to have been entirely WRONG.

So. Very. Wrong.

Do you have those moments? 

Those flashes of light where you realize you've been hiding a key 

piece of yourself?

Tomorrow I'll tell you what happened to me once I embraced Sexy Money.

Until then take a bite out of all the goodies I've baked for you.

• The Sexy Money Love Challenge videos will be up til June 16th. Find them here
• I've added an encore Live Master Class to the Calendar register for that here
• The doors are now open for 40 Days and Nights of Prosperity.                                           Would you like to come in? Enter Here

xoxo,

Denise

P.S. Some of you have already taken a deep plunge into the Sexy Money pool. How about you invite a sister along? Share this blog post with your girls so they can enjoy the waters of Financial Liberation as well. 

The difference between fear and not feeling it

Last week I wrote about operating my business from a place of intuition.

Using my gut to spur me on.

I needed some time off from big launches because I wasn't feeling it.

So, I took 4 months off.

4 WHOLE months.

A whole season.

It was perfect.

Then it wasn’t.

Winter rolled in and I really wasn't feeling it.

January ushered in the New Year and I was still on the bench.

Soon my not feeling it bled into fear and inertia.

How do I know?

My magic stopped.

Money stopped pouring in effortlessly.

I was stuck.

Now what?

Well, I was saved by a good friend who sent me a link to the following blog post

 This statement spoke right to my geeky soul

“Objects in motion tend to stay in motion. Objects at rest tend to stay at rest”

I had become like many of my clients,

 I was crippled by inertia and unable to jump start my business and money because of fear, resistance, playing small, self sabotage, or upper limits.

I had to coach myself.

There is an old saying that I love

 “When the teacher is ready, the student appears”

So I became my own teacher.

I did what I do with all my clients when they first come to me and want to increase their sales.

I have them track and monitor everything.

At my heart I have a math brain or more accurately the brain of a kindergartner, meaning I thrive on gold stars!

Here is the list of what I did:

• I tracked all sales conversations I was having on a daily basis. Getting new customers is a numbers game. You gotta talk to a few "no’s" to get a "yes".

• I tracked my marketing activities on a weekly basis. It’s much easier to see what’s getting results when you start tracking your marketing efforts.

• I tracked my daily deposits (nothing makes me feel like getting my ass in gear more than having to put a big fat zero for a day’s deposit)

• I set income desires for the next 30, 90, and 180 days.

These four simple steps helped me get my head (and cash) back in the game. If you want to get in the game with me download the exact workbook I use each week to make sure I'm hitting my income targets.

Also, stay tuned for March 19th when I host my popular webinar Quit Your Day Job (even if you don’t like webinars keep a look out because I’m cooking up some goodies especially for you).

xoxo,

Denise

p.s.

If you are stuck and feeling dragged down by inertia, then it’s especially important for you to click this link. Start giving yourself gold stars for the things you do and you’ll do more of it. 

Get my Sexy Money Tracker here.

Don't Put Nothing In It Unless You Feel It.

You know the way a certain song can be like a time capsule for your life?
When you were 5 what was your soundtrack?
What about when you were 14?

For me it was Nina Simone

There is this moment before the song I Shall Be Released

where Nina stops her band and says

"Y'all pushing.

You pushing.

You pushing.

Just relax, relax.

You're pushing it.

It'll go up by itself.

Don't put nothing in it unless you feel it."

That's the secret to a pleasurable business

That's the secret weapon against burnout

You have to feel each step, each move you make

Don't confuse "not feeling it" with fear or playing small

What's the difference?

Well when you act on a feeling the universe hops right in with a little magic.

For example I canceled a launch last fall.  I was burnout. My heart wasn't in it. I  was working 12 and 16 hour days completely obsessed with my business. I knew that kind of energy wasn’t sustainable and sure enough I burned myself out. So I cancelled the launch.

I also stopped working with a client who no longer felt joyful to work with.

I was scared not to act but I just couldn't move forward with something I didn't feel.

So I took Nina’s advice and I relaxed.

I let it go up by itself.

What happened?

The universe stepped in,  clients poured in to replace the revenue I lost.  I was able to teach yoga, move, eat well, stand in the sunshine.

I did this for 4 months.  

I was able to get clear on exactly what I desire.

It feels good knowing what feeeeels good for my business.

Now I want to hear from you!

Leave a comment on my blog and  answer the questions

What song is the soundtrack for your teen years?

What aren't you feeling in your business right now?

Stay tuned for next week when I talk about what happens when resting and relaxation turns to inertia or playing small and how you can jumpstart your passion again.

Until then keep day dreaming Spring is almost here…

xoxo,

(Self) Love is in the Air

Phew! We made it to February. Only one more month of winter to go (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

While we wait for winter’s graceful exit,

You wanna to do a Self Love Celebration with me?

It’s pretty simple.

Pick a self care item that you would love to gift yourself.

“You can’t take care of your money if you don’t take care of you” (Message! Facebook it)

I’m talking massages, baths, movement, trying out veganism, or giving yourself full permission to enjoy the f*&k out of your ice cream dinner…

I’ve gathered a whole posse to help us along our way:

I am enrolled in Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts for Mastery 2015. (Sexy Money was born there 7 years ago) You want a seat? Go here.

I am going to Rhiannon Lawrence-Zitting’s 30 day Self Love Soiree on Facebook. Find that here.

I am eating clean, but as my fellow Yogi Lauren Benson over at Aditi Wellness says

“Some days I just want fried refined sugar covered cheesy gluten products washed down with soda. But I'll stay strong. I. Will. Stay. Strong.”

(P.S. When I open my bakery this will be the name)

Stay strong by trying these delicious recipes I've scouted on Pinterest (Soul Food and Sweets for Sweets)

I’m getting my movement on all month long at Sacred Brooklyn. I will post daily pictures on Facebook, Pinterest, The Gram, Twitter, Youtube, Tinder?, Hinge? Myspace? Friendster? (I’m sooo social)

Need some help with your nutrition? Try these ladies:

Alissa Vitti at Flo Living (She helped me manage my monthly Lunar Tics otherwise known as PMS insanity)

Maya Fuller at http://www.mayafellernutrition.com/ (P.S. I worked with Maya for 6 months last year. She don’t play!)

That’s all beauties!

xoxo,

P.S. If you don't feel called to join me, you have my full permission to do absolutely nothing. It's still winter. Cuddle up, relax, and day dream. Your springtime will come.

You are worth the cost of your dreams

Finally we can breath again!

Now that the clamor of New Year's is dying down I thought I'd reach out to you to take your financial pulse. 

 Sexy Money offers a few different tools to help you:

• Want a new relationship with your money? For the last three months I've had a keen desire to keep more of what I make. In the past, my sole motivation was to make six figures and now my desires are shifting from "making more" to "keeping more" 

To learn more about making and keeping more check out the video seriesI've created here.

• Are you are an entrepreneur or thinking about becoming one? Want to set yourself up with a solid foundation to create six figures this year. 

Sign up for a free Sexy Money Six Figures session here. 

• Perhaps you have a business and you have revenue but you barely know where the money goes each month? You need some bookkeeping and CFO help. Can you afford to NOT hire someone. Maybe you have questions about paying yourself or hiring a team.  Negotiating yourbookkeeping and taxes can be a disaster if it's not your area of expertise.

book a free Sexy Money Better Bookkeeping Session Here

ok that's it for the New Year from me.

 Click one of the links above or just enjoy the peace of winter as a time to rest, regroup, day dream, desire and be.

 Looking forward to spring!

xo,

Confessions of a Kept Woman

It's no secret among my friends that I am obsessed with sex work 

I still daydream about dancing at a strip club (might be the reason for my raging addiction to pole dancing classes) 

I long to be a dominatrix 

I fantasize about being a feminist porn director (do those exist?) 

Or even better 

Have myself a good old fashioned 

Sugar Daddy  

In my mind my sugar daddy looks more like Richard Gere and a lot less like Donald Sterling 

 It's my go to fantasy when times get tough 

A Man will come along and rescue me. 

 My Prince Charming (at least I pray he's charming) 

 
My knight in shining platinum armor 

I came close to making this fantasy a reality  

I dated this guy who paid for everything 

 sent me expensive flowers 

 bought expensive trips to St. Martin 

I just KNEW I had landed the jackpot 

On top of all those things the sex was great 

He was funny, intelligent, and seemed completely smitten with me. 

Then suddenly Prince Charming's  veneer started wearing around the edges 

And he started showing signs of all natural, grade A, American narcissism. 

 As my love affair crumpled around me  

The thing I found hardest to say goodbye to  

was not the love I thought I had I found or the future babies I day-dreamed about 

The thing I missed most was: 

His generosity 

 the trips 

 the dinners 

The security of being able to leave home without my wallet 

AND be fully taken cared of 

 I had to say goodbye to winters in Egypt and  

days spent indulging in beauty treatments and going to spas 

days spent shopping and eating luxury lunches 

 I also had to say goodbye to my helplessness 

 I had to acknowledge that I could make my OWN money 

The month that I broke up with my prince I had my worst business month ever 

But I also realized the price of being a kept woman was way too high 

 A kept woman has to listen to the racist rants of her boyfriend 

A kept woman has to end arguments sooner than she would like because she needs money for 

her credit card bill 

A kept woman is never really respected as we live in culture that values money above all else and the people who make the money rule 

 Don't get me wrong I'm all for asking AND getting what you want from your lovers 

But I know this, 

a man is not a financial plan. 

I repeat 

a man is not a financial plan. 

 Can you get someone to pay your rent because you are 

beautiful,  charming,  light-filed,  and magnetic 

Of course you can, any woman has that powerful gift of attraction  

attraction that is above and beyond physical beauty 

the most famous courtesans through out history knew that power of a woman 

 but is that power to attract wealthy suitors the only thing you should rely on? 

 That man you charmed 

He could leave 

He could die 

His wife could put her foot down 

He could be cruel

His children could contest the will

You could want to leave him (but won't because who will pay the note on your Audi?) 

He could decide to trade you in for a newer model 

 Once I realized that my kept status would never be guaranteed in the hands of another 

I decided to keep myself 

 The next year I doubled my income  

 my business and my "Rich Bitch" status took off 

 More importantly I get to spend my days sharing my unique gifts with the WORLD not just a handful of men seeking release in the arms of someone new.  

 I get to share my love of money 

I LOVE money 

madly 

crazy in LOVE 

and my money loves me. 

I've taken that love affair with my money and built a business educating women on harnessing their sensuality, their beauty, their charm, and their femininity 

to make what they deserve 

Turns out I am a kept women. 

I am my own keeper. 

Are you ready to keep yourself? 

I'm doing a free webinar Girl, Get Your Money Right where I will show you the Sexy Money way to create wealth so you can enjoy those wealthy suitors as icing on your cake and not the keepers to your gilded cage. 

 Space is limited to 250 woman.  

Sign up here.

Is Your Business Turning You Into a Cranky Wino?

Seriously my friend,

Is your business making you a wine lush?

Is your "boss" being a big ol' bitch?

I am writing this post on the eve of flying to Alaska for a quick trip to visit family

but this topic has been in the forefront of my mind.

We all know being an entrepreneur is hard. 

It's you, your product, and your vision on the line.

At times, you may feel exposed

like a raw open wound;

a wound that we sometimes treat with:

too much wine

 a few too many bags of popcorn

or by lashing out at our loved ones.

As a sane making (and keeping the peace) practice,

I've created a random list of what I'm doing for the next six months

to shut my hard ass of a "boss" up.

Also I wanted to let you know that the early bird discount for Sexy Money Moguls ends on Wednesday September 25th.

 If creating a money making business

the feminine way is what you desire 

time to hop on board 

apply here for more information about Sexy Money Moguls

Now on to that list......

• give myself permission to have even more wine or more popcorn if I want it (dammit:)
• tell my loved ones that I am creating some awesome great things that light my fire
• (Which means I might be out of communication for a while or short when we do talk.)
• Please don't hold it against me(if you do I know it won't be for long because you love me)
• Turn off my phone, email, Facebook, etc when I am feeling full so that I don't have an opportunity to be short with my loved ones.
• Schedule down time
• let it go (yes that)
• sleep
• sleep some more
• stay in bed all day
• have a nap
• drink orange juice with a grass fed steak
• get a massage
• get a foam roller
• take a yoga class
• learn a new pole trick
• belly dance
• ask for help
• hire some help
• surrender
• let it go
• release
• drink some water
• add some electrolytes (your adrenals are probably shot) 
• eat some celery for the wine bloat
• try dandelion tea
• meditate for 5 whole minutes
• sing your favorite song
• listen to a podcast
• get Spotify
• make friends with another entrepreneur
• play around on pinterest
• give myself gold stars for every completed business task
• call a good friend for a bitch, moan, gratitude, and desire fest
• pound a new series on Netflix
• start checking my email only once a day
• take email off my phone and tablet
• turn off all social media notifications
• hire a coach or mentor
• invest in yourself
• say yes
• say no
• orgasm
• om
• move
• make lists
• commit to only 2 tasks on my to-do list
• ask my tarot cards
• ask the astro twins
• pretend I am a psychic
• go for a walk with no destination in mind
• run
• get a guitar
• learn a song
• make a desire list
• compliment a stranger
• ask for something I really want
• be courageous
• be scared
• be
• chant
• find your song totem
• introduce yourself to a stranger
• invite a colleague to lunch
• send an unasked for recommendation someone's way
• tell someone they are awesome
• tell yourself you are awesome
• meditate for 20 minutes
• imagine yourself on Oprah's couch
• read a real book (not a kindle)
• Say "I love you" more 
• complain less
• turn your bank account into an game
• pay an outstanding bill while wearing lingerie
• write thank you on all checks
• try guessing what note a train stop makes
• find a task that REQUIRES markers and crayons
• send thank you cards
• pay it forward
• play it back in gratitude
• drink green juice
• eat a salad
• try cashew ice cream
• eat ice cream for dinner
• sign up for a 5k
• fire that client
• decide you are perfect
• realize perfection is an illusion 

 xoxo

p.s.

Creating a money making business is a learned skill just like any other. It's built moment by moment, piece by piece. Join Sexy Money Moguls to create the business of your dreams. 

This is why I'm hot: 5 women who take sexy to the next level!

I get asked quite a bit,

What the heck does sexy have to do with money?

The truth is 'sexy and money' are intricately tied. When your sexy is out of whack you feel:

Attacked on all fronts by the guilt monster, finding yourself wrong for all your actions.

The classic case of damned if you do.......  If you are working, you worry about neglecting your other relationships. You feel guilty about things like over-eating, not working out, and neglecting your children and family. When you aren't working you feel guilty because you aren't focused on your to-do list. You are one purchase away from a downward spiral of shame and self-abuse.

A paper thin veneer of self-worth and esteem, – Your boundaries are out of whack and everyone gets a piece of you which often results in seeing yourself as a self-sacrificing martyr, often putting others’ wants and demands before your own needs, all the while harboring silent resentment towards them and self-criticism towards yourself. You will tend to overspend on others and lack the ability to say no or to spend on yourself

Easily offended, hurt or upset by the words and actions of people that you perceive as not appreciating you.  You get defensive and tend to condemn others who behave differently than you think they should.

You are flawed and are always under construction.  You don’t trust that you can be loved just for being who you already are. Instead you believe that you have to continually improve yourself to become worthy of being loved, by others and by yourself. You buy and consume to fill a never ending hole and your bank account bears the brunt of this ongoing construction project.

What is Sexy Money?

Sexy Money is a philosophy that a woman in touch with her sensuality and turn-on is a powerful master of her domain INCLUDING her finances. 

When I feel unworthy, guilty, or less than spectacular

 the quickest way for me to feel better is for me to step into my sexy.

Today I want to introduce you to Sexy.

There is that old adage that no man is an island. Well I am here to tell you no woman is an oasis of sexiness all by herself.

 I've compiled a list of an amazing group of women who can take your sexy into the stratosphere. 

The Queen of Seduction Kitty Cavalier. Kitty is the maestra of the art of the tease. I've had the pleasure of taking her classes and left each time feeling sexy, sensual, and powerful. Normally Kitty's services are only available in the New York area but now the whole world can be seduced by her charm and cheek. Kitty is offering a 4 week online program called"Your Seductress Unveiled"check out the detailshere.

Body bySacred Brooklyn. Enough said. I have never had more fun and felt more embodied and challenged than when I am taking class at Sacred. They have one of THE best pole dancing programs in NY. They are also launching their first ever Yoga Teacher Training program this fall. I will be a student of this session dubbed "The Courage Cycle". If you want a full bodied love affair with, well--YOUR body. Sacred is the place for you.

Lauren Harkness of Lauren Harkness Designs. This woman’s designs drip from my neck, wrists, fingers, and ears.Ok in all transparency she is one of my best friends. We've known each other since college. Even if she is my best friend I can’t deny the allure of all her jewelry. I save up for her stuff every year. Her jewelry is usually the only stuff I wear. I still remember the days she did purses and yoga mats (apparently she is designing a new line of leather purses for release in the next few years, I can’t wait!) Until then, find her gorgeous jewelry creations here on www.laurenharkness.com. My favorite,the sunset necklace.

My personal glam sqaud.The Ladies of Glamour Bitch Photography. Take a look at the photos around this site. They speak for themselves. Dawn and her team made me feel so comfortable during my photo shoot. Plus you get your hair and makeup done at her adorable studio.

How's that for feeling like a sexy superstar?

I've been OBSSESSED with these ladies since I moved to New York. I remember the first time I saw them at the Bowery Poetry Club. I was frozen, my attention rapt, I wanted to BE them, I was them. Finally brown girls (who weren't the parade of half-naked actresses and singers we are inundated with every day) telling their stories while being coy, authentic sex symbols, flirtatious, and deeply sensual. I had to work with them. Fast forward three years later and I graduated from my first Brown Girls Burlesque Broad Squad Institute. Check the ladies outhere.

There they are my Sexy secret weapons! Want more? Enter your email here:

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An Update to Your Dreams

Daydreaming I Was Thinking of You......

Sooooo......

I've got this feeling that you've got a dream you are running from right now in this moment.

Who You?

Yes You,

What's your excuse for not going for it?

Not enough time?

Not enough money?

What if all those "not enough's" just melted away?

Here's the deal (and it is a deal)

Dara Cole (owner of Sacred Brooklyn) and I have dreamed up a party to help you strategize, brainstorm, and create a plan for making your dream a reality. 

This is a Pay-What-You-Desire-Or-Nothing-At-All Event.

Sacred Dream Team

 July 21 4-7 pm

197 Clifton Place

Brooklyn, NY 11216

Maybe your dream (like mine) is to take SacredBrooklyn's Teacher Training (this is a dream 14 years in the making for me!)

or

You've got a business idea that needs hatching.

Come use the spirit of community to make your dreams a reality and never let the "not enoughs" rule your life again.

xoxo

The #1 Secret to Saving More Money (It has nothing to do with percentages)

Earlier this month, I spent the week visiting family in Savannah and Atlanta.

I also managed to fit in Monica Shah’s Money 2.0 event.

What an amazing time.

I left Atlanta energized and just a little terrified by what I’ve got in the works for the next 12 months.

That’s why I love traveling.

I love the sense of anticipation that accompanies lift off

and the deep yearning to just be home when a trip is done.

Or even better,

that feeling that you get when you just aren’t ready to leave yet.

That keen sense of adventure

of breaking patterns

 and going somewhere new

In fact,

 Adventure is one of my core values.

My other core values are

Love, Family/Friends, Pleasure, Generosity, Health, and Wealth

I use my core values as a gauge for my spending.

When I log into Mint.com and check my spending habits for the month,

 I know which categories should be high because those tend to be the categories I value you the most.

It makes decisions around spending money so much easier and way more abundant.

I try never to have a conversation about what I can afford.

It’s more about do I value this item over this other thing.

I love clothes (like seriously I love clothes), I love the rush of shopping and getting something new, but I had to teach myself to recognize that mindless purchases are way less pleasurable then being able to pay for my yoga membership and my weekly massage.

That dress I almost bought on a whim could get me to Seattle and back.

 Do I want to go to my Soul City where I get to see my peoples, eat amazing food, and recharge in nature?

Or do I want to wear a dress that I’ll be excited about (if I’m lucky) for 2 wearings?

When you know what you value the answer is a no brainer.

So,

 Question

What do you value?

Below is a pdf with a list of possible values.

It is by no means exhaustive,  feel free to add your own.

Once you have your core values let them guide you in making your money decisions.

When you log into Mint.com

 (Your only excuse for not being on Mint.com should be that you prefer some other personal finance software)

Pay attention to how your spending is in alignment with your values.

Money is like a beautiful woman

She freaking loves attention.

So love her up.

xoxo,

Your Sexy Money Homework:

1. Make a list of your Core Values

Find the Values.pdf here

  Pick out the values that make you feel good. Try and narrow them down to 5 or 6.

2. Start tracking your monthly spending (use mint.com.) Seriously if you aren’t doing this yet what are you waiting for?!

3.       When you make a purchase, ask yourself does this bring me closer to my values or further away?

For more Sexy Money Homework designed to take all my ladies from 0 to 60 in all matters money

Sign Up Here!

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